- Meet the CIEB (Creative Industries Enforcement Bodies), the selfless teams of men and women who protect the entertainment industry from the ravages of -------- welfare fraudsters.

Wait a minute. Welfare fraudsters? Like people who run welfare scams?

Yes.

They're the latest targets of the BPI (British Phonographic Industry) a pseudo-police outfit owned by the Big Four record labels which has "united" with Britain's Department for Work and Pensions (DwP) in a "nationwide campaign against music piracy". [Their quotes, not ours.]

Not seriously?

Seriously. O`ver*ween"ing means "unduly confident; arrogant; presumptuous; conceited" and it works well with the BPI's latest excursion into the of world law enforcement which was once the exclusive preserve of duly authorised police agencies and departments, but which has now become a free-range area for Hollywood and its minions.

"Codenamed" Operation Zouk, the effort "has already" led to the arrest of 57 people who'd allegedly been "ripping off" the music industry, film industry, computer games industry and the British taxpayer, in order of importance.

"An alliance of creative industries' enforcement bodies, led by the BPI, including FACT (representing the film industry) and MCPS (representing publishing companies) assisted the DwP on the operation, and further raids are planned for the next few weeks."

OK - but where do the welfare scammers come in?

What? Oh. Yes.

Well, says the BPI, it's been "working closely with the DwP, forming an alliance last year, after it emerged that many music pirates are also cheating the taxpayer through benefit fraud".

"Music piracy is a massive problem in the UK, says BPI Faux-Inspector David Martin, going on:

"Not only is that investment is [sic] under serious threat from piracy, but with about 70% of music pirates are [sic] claiming benefits as well they're costing the taxpayer a fortune as well."

Nicely phrased, Inspector Dave.

Out of the 57 arrests, 45 individuals had been claiming state benefits "whilst generating massive profits through the counterfeiting of music, film and computer games," says the BPI, explaining how it was able to get a UK Ministry involved in an entertainment industry witch hunt.

The BPI quotes "Anti-Fraud Minister" Chris Pond, speaking on behalf of the DwP, as saying: "This is an excellent example of how well we can tackle benefit fraud when we work closely with other agencies."

[Now the BPI is an 'agency'. How do they get away with this stuff? - Ed]